If you are not at the table, you are on the menu.

It sounds harsh. Almost exaggerated. Until you’ve seen it play out.

Decisions don’t pause in your absence. They still get made. Priorities still get set. Trade-offs still get negotiated. And when leaders are not present in those moments, their interests, perspectives, and intent often don’t make it into the room either.

Being at the table isn’t just about attendance. It’s about engagement. Speaking up when the conversation is uncomfortable. Staying involved when the dynamics feel messy or inconvenient. Leaders sometimes step back to avoid friction, assuming silence will protect relationships. But more often, silence is interpreted as agreement.

Over time, this creates a quiet shift. Others begin to define direction. Assumptions harden. Decisions take shape without challenge. And by the time the impact is felt, the opportunity to influence has already passed.

In my experience, influence is rarely lost in dramatic moments. It fades through small withdrawals. Missed conversations. Unattended forums. Delayed engagement. Leadership doesn’t disappear overnight. It thins out gradually.

Being at the table doesn’t guarantee outcomes. But not being there almost guarantees irrelevance.

So here’s a question worth reflecting on:

Where are you choosing not to be at the table… and what decisions are being made in your absence?