The Story You Tell Yourself

Have you ever walked into a meeting expecting it to go badly? Or held back from sharing an idea because you were sure someone would dismiss it? Or assumed someone was upset with you simply because they hadn’t replied to your message?

Most of us have been there.

What affects us isn’t always what happened. It’s often the meaning we attach to it. We tell ourselves stories, and before long, we begin to believe them.

“I’m not experienced enough.” “People don’t really value my opinion.” “If I say no, I’ll let people down.” “I have to prove myself every single day.”

The more often we repeat these stories, the more convincing they become. After a while, we stop questioning them. We treat them as facts. And that’s when they begin to influence the way we lead. They shape the decisions we make, the conversations we avoid, the opportunities we pursue, and the confidence we bring into the room.

The story may not be true. But if we choose to believe it, we’ll often behave as though it is.

That’s why leading from within begins with awareness. Not by trying to think positively. Not by forcing ourselves to change. It begins by noticing the story we’re telling ourselves and asking a simple question: “Is this really true, or is this simply my interpretation?”

That question won’t always change the situation. But it often changes how we see it. And when we begin to see differently, we often begin to lead differently.

This Week’s Practice

The next time you find yourself feeling frustrated, anxious, or defensive, pause for a moment and ask yourself:

“What story am I telling myself right now?”

Then ask yourself:

“What facts support this story? What facts don’t?”

Don’t rush to answer. The first step isn’t changing the story. It’s recognising that you’re telling one.

I’ve also captured this idea in a short video called “The Story In Your Head”. Click HERE to watch it.